5 Lonely Hearts Club Beers
Expert Advice

For some people, Valentine’s Day is not all roses and romance. Plenty of memes highlight people vomiting pink hearts or wishing folks “Happy Singles Day!”—sure signs that some folks would rather ignore February 14 altogether. If you’re in the camp wanting to distribute conversation hearts saying “Bite Me” or the thought of St. Valentine brings tears to your eyes, drown your sorrows in a beer with a name that mirrors how you feel.

Bitter Valentine

Damn Hallmark holiday. Never gonna love again. Romance fauxmance. Why bother? Alewerks in Virginia knows your pain and has brewed a double IPA to help you get through it. Bitter Valentine has earned a perfect 100 from RateBeer.com users, a score that lends credence to its drinkability. Loaded with Pacific Northwest hops, soft malt and 8.3% alcohol, it’s sure to help you forget any unrequited love. https://www.alewerks.com/beers

Black Hearted

Are your innards cold and stony? Then, this Black IPA has got you. It knows and affirms that “love isn’t always handwritten notes and candy hearts. Sometimes, it’s a sinkhole full of skeletons and worn-out platitudes.” Black IPAs are characterized by their roasted malt and caramel flavors that contrast with the citrus or pine hops. This one by Michigan’s Bell’s Brewery releases only in February—the perfect time to wipe your eyes and move on. http://www.bellsbeer.com/beer/specialty/black-hearted


Cheatin’ Heart

Cheated and deleted. No time for that B.S. Or, maybe you’re the one with the unfaithful heart. Either way, you’re feeling alone this month. No matter. Wrap your lips around this classic IPA brewed with a blend of Azacca and Mosaic hops in Huntsville, Alabama, at Yellowhammer Brewing and make your passionate self feel so much better. https://www.yellowhammerbrewery.com/


Of Love and Regret

Maybe you didn’t say what you wanted to say. Maybe you said what you did and now wish you could take it back. Stillwater Artisanal’s Of Love and Regret can help you interpret your situation. Just pour a glass of this farmhouse ale, which after a few sips, seems to embody renewal. Fresh botanicals push into the palate of the yummy Saison, bringing with them hope and possibility. Next time, love without regrets. https://www.handfamilycompanies.com/stillwater-artisanal-ales


Raging Bitch

The name strikes at first read as inappropriate, but the artwork of the angry dog brings a little balance…maybe? Make of it what you will while sipping this higher ABV Belgian IPA from Maryland’s Flying Dog Brewery. The flavor is described as an anything-but-delicate blend of sharp hoppiness and fruity funk typical of Belgian yeast. While you think of your favorite—or perhaps least favorite—companion, savor the notes of pine and citrus. As the label suggests: two inflammatory words set up your palate for one wild ride. https://www.flyingdog.com/beers/