Scrooge. Self-absorbed, talks only about one thing, grabs for whatever he pleases, and seemed to wear the same thing everywhere he went…except to bed. Despite being a holiday icon, these attributes make him the antithesis of a good party guest.
And after a season of raucous tailgates and family barbecues, you may have tarnished a few of your better party behaviors too, and perhaps become a bit Scroogey. We can fix that. These few crucial rules of etiquette hold true whether you find yourself invited to a formal dinner, a casual get-together, or a business cocktail party. Let’s review these basic holiday party mistakes to avoid!
Ugly sweater time?
Despite their hilarity, generally no. Unless it’s the party theme. Otherwise, you’re going to be dubbed the dork and will endure a night of side glances and spurts of derisive laughter. So pay attention to the dress code. If you’re in doubt, get some clarity from the hosts beforehand under the guise of thanking them for the invite. And bone up on the current definition and difference between business casual, cocktail, semi-formal, formal, and black tie.
Did you really say that?
You did. And now everyone’s whispering and averting their gaze, or worse, outright laughing at you (not with you). So don’t start sharing until you’ve listened long enough to read the room and uncover who knows who. Otherwise, your famous edgy joke only marks you as offensive or embarrassing. Overall, it’s just smart to avoid hot-button topics like religion, politics, and sex, even in a joking way. If you start going down a controversial rabbit hole, gently steer the conversation back to neutral territory.
Too much becomes too stupid
Plate piled high, you plow down the buffet line with your hunger at full throttle. That’s a Scrooge move, especially if most of the other guests are lined up behind you. The same with carrying more than one plate. So rein it in. Because there’s nothing wrong with making a return trip after everyone else has made the rounds.
The same with drinks. While they may be free and flowing, you don’t want your brain so numbed that your mouth and feet wander off to do as they please. Know your limits. Relaxed is good. Anything more and it’s time to switch to coffee.
That spoon’s there for a reason
A table of dips, flaky rolls, meat-laden sliders, bowls of chips, platters of ribs…they all lie within easy reach as you stroll down the buffet table or appetite stations. As you reach out, it better be toward the spoon, ladle, or tongs laid to the side of that dish or basket. Double-dipping or using your fingers to pick up food from a serving dish gets you well deserved dirty looks as you contaminate the delectables meant for all.
Take the hint
When the party’s winding down, are you the last one to go? That may not mean what you think. Unless you’re staying to help clean up or are the hosts’ best friend, when the room starts emptying and things get quieter, start looking for your coat. Punctuality—both arriving and leaving—shows respect and gratitude for your hosts efforts and for thinking of you.
Arriving earlier than the specified start time or arriving fashionably late shows only your Scroogey selfishness. As does bringing a plus-one, unless the invite specifically indicates you can. If you RSVP’d and then decide not to attend, reach out to the host and let them know. The reason doesn’t matter, they will appreciate your courtesy, especially if you hope for an invite to future parties.
Keep in mind that this holiday party may be one of the few times you see some of these people for a whole year. Not to mention, you don’t want to be the most talked about guest—for all the wrong reasons. Or a visit from three ghosts.