The Calendar Inventor Was a Foodie
Expert Advice

Photo: PxHere

While I began putting together my 2022 travel schedule, I made the wildest discovery. Whoever invented the calendar is trying to kill us with one food-focused event after another or is just an overzealous foodie. Either way, there’s a lot of cooking and grilling opportunities coming our way if you look at a 2022 holiday calendar.

My grandfather always started January 1 by cooking a big pot of cabbage with a penny in it. The tradition is, whoever scooped out the penny was assured a prosperous New Year. I hate cooked cabbage, so I smoke ribs while watching college football all day. However, this is just practice for the biggest of all football celebrations — the Super Bowl party. But you know Mr. Calendar Inventor couldn’t leave out Valentine’s Day when we take our special someone for surf and turf. If you’re like me, February concludes with a race day cookout for the Daytona 500.

March Madness takes over with chips, pretzels, and assorted wings, with St. Patrick’s Day thrown in for good measure. We can’t forget about April and the first pitch being tossed out on opening day of America’s favorite pastime. Who can really get enough hotdogs, especially straight from an open flame?

May rolls in with Mother’s Day — a reminder of the one who inspired many of us to cook. Then it finishes with Memorial Day, which allows you to kick off summer by showing why you’re the King of the Grill.

June rolls in quietly with the kids getting us a “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, then steaks at our favorite restaurant, which we probably could’ve grilled better ourselves. However, outdoor cooking redemption is on the horizon in July when we celebrate America’s birthday. While the night sky explodes with a multitude of colors, we show the neighborhood how fire is meant to be used as we slow cook a pork butt.

August is reserved for fishing trips and family reunions. Otherwise, we use this month to plan an all-out shindig in September for Labor Day weekend when football games are really kicking off just as baseball gets ready for the October playoffs. But even then we can’t forget out how extravagant we’ll get for Halloween. Can you say, “Bring on the chili”?

This brings us to a whirlwind November for one of the biggest meals of the year — Thanksgiving Day. Mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potato casserole, and yeast rolls. But most importantly, how will the turkey be cooked — deep fried, smoked, or traditional oven-roasted?

The year comes to a close in December and the foodie celebrations of the Christmas season. First, there’s Christmas parties to attend with something from the grill. Next comes the homemade cookie social after the kids’ Christmas pageant at church. Then Christmas Eve arrives, followed by Christmas Day dinners. I’m already hiding my scale.

Throw in some birthdays, anniversaries, and regular get-togethers, and it’s no wonder we know the grocery store manager and butcher by name. It’s now on you, dear reader, to decide if the Calendar Inventor is evil or just a foodie looking out for the rest of us foodies.

Happy 2022!

Tailgater Magazine